Monday, 21 April 2014

ANTI - PRENEURS



There are two pains in the world.
 Pain Of Hard Work and Pain Of Regret. 

I am looking to try the first pain because the latter pain is really painful. The first one makes you sleep deep in night and the second want makes your night sleepless. This blog is for all Indians who are looking to do something different, those who don’t want routine lifestyle. Yes, this for all who wants to step in into entrepreneurship.  This blog is about my observation about the mental and meaningless obstacles faced by Indian middle class youngster who want to create something of your own, who wants to be an entrepreneur. This time it’s not about funding, business plan or curiosity. This time it’s the other side of the coin. It’s about marriage, flat and family.

A year back one of my good friends told me about a product idea. I liked the idea and told him I could work with him on that if he’s willing to seriously build it. His answer was –yaar abhi job nahi chhod sakta, 6 mahine mein shaadi hai [Dude, I can't quit job right now, getting married in 6 months]. Okay, get married but why do you want give up on an idea you believe in? Your girl will understand, won’t she?
Guess what? Obviously, he never build it and few months back I saw someone executed exactly that product out and is quite close to getting funded too! Yeah, my friend’s happily married, at 27!

One of my ex girlfriend had started talking about marriage barely when we had graduated. I never denied marrying her but I used to tell her lets first achieve something, I want to do a few things in life, be a successful entrepreneur and all this might take a little time, there’s no point in getting married quickly and then allocating funds to expenses that could have been avoided at that age, but no, she wouldn’t listen! Of course, she’s happily married and I, having failed 2 times in the past, am still building another startup product! (I hope this post reaches you, lady!)

Oh! And that concept of getting your kids married at the right age, guys before 30 and gals by 26-27 max! I’ve always stressed, there’s nothing called such as a “right age” – why not just get married when you are ready – 25 or 32 – how does it matter? I hope you’re not thinking about that old shit about retiring and then marrying your kids before that actually is the root problem.

I observed every family or your parents’ needs approval from another closed relative to whom they think they are well placed, or know more than them or highly matured.  They might be your uncle, aunt, cousins, brother, sister or their spouses. Sometimes, their suggestion and advices changes your family’s thoughts and uselessly you have to face mental obstacles and pressure from your family. I am often surprised why we are so late in accepting new ideas, new thoughts or new career models? 

It is only because it is not tested or just because it’s not common among society or just because it’s not a safe way. I never find the definition of safe way. Our families don’t like to attempt new things when it comes about our career. Find job, work for them, underestimate your skills, buy home, get married and produce children, this is what the only definition of life.
What more you want?  haa? Want to build home in Jupiter?
Don’t get surprised if you hear this from them.

One of my close family member told me to look for a career in “chip designing” back in 2008-09. Recently, I met him at another family gathering a few months back and he said “tum chip designing me kuch kyu nahi try karte?” [Why don't you try something in chip designing?] I was like…dude? You are still the same! Your thoughts are still stuck where they were 4-5 years back.

 It is very difficult for Indian middle class family to agree on those things which others of your age don’t do. They think, if you fail, you are finished. You can’t stop that kind of thinking. See, it’s their belief, it’s their perception and belief, perception and behavior can’t change in one day and sometimes never. Accept this that these are the additional mental obstacles which you will face or have faced if you belong to 2-tier cities or middle class families.

 My purpose for telling you these things is clear. I want you to be proactive and not reactive on those issues. If your family is not getting your view or point, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. It’s their concern and possessiveness.  These concern and possessiveness might pull you back mentally and could be harmful at some extent, because your family are not ready and set to accept your failure at this time but it doesn’t mean you will get reactive. You learn to manage those issues. You need to learn how to move ahead and how to achieve what you exactly want while carrying those mental obstacles.

The other fantasy about middle class family people is owning a flat. I never get this point. I, really don’t. Why do they want their kids to buy a flat and then spend the rest of his life paying back the loan? Coming from middle class, we’ve never had loads of money to spend. So the way out always is to pay probably a 25% or even less initially and then take a loan for 75% for the next 20-25 years.

And is duly supported by our financial system! Go and try to raise money for your startup and the same money for a home, you’ll know what I mean!

Once you have a loan on your head, which too a home loan, for not less than 40-50 Lacs, for sure. you wouldn’t be willing to take a risk, would you? And that tension of repaying that loan. Anyways, there is very little probability that our kids would stay in that house for long. They’d go places, do stuff in life and make it big themselves.

If you are not dreaming to get a job in MNC, if you are not choosing a mass career option, then don’t choose traditional personal planning. Plan your finance what is suitable for your startup. Home, car, and other so called important stuff will get easy to achieve for you sooner or later in your life. This is the time to build foundation for your startup not home. This is the time to run your startup not car and this is the time to sleep with your projects not with your wife.
  
                                       Stay active. Do positive. Take action.